Grafted In
May 22, 2010
by Chanda Griese
Before I became a follower of Christ, I was a poor, miserable, hateful person. I was thirteen-years-old, and I was fatherless. I’d never met my father and didn’t even know what he looked like. My mother wanted to marry her new boyfriend, Roberto, but I was determined to be especially mean to him, so he would leave her.
When my mother first met my birth father, Jonathan Hedges, she was divorced and had a four-year-old son. They met at a local party, and started dating right away. My mother decided to end their relationship after only a month. Shortly afterward, though, she realized that she was pregnant with me. She went on to tell my father, but he denied that I was his, and wanted nothing to do with her or me. Eventually, my mother had to give birth to me alone. I was born into a world without a father, without any roots.
That may not seem like that big of a deal to some, but to me, it was huge. I went through life, wondering, who my dad was and what was he like. If he met me, I wondered, would he want me? I saw other little girls with their daddies and I felt this deep pain and emptiness inside my heart. When I was about seven, I starting asking about who my dad was. My mom encouraged me to contact him, and she helped me write him a letter. I put my picture in it, sealed it, and sent it to his last known address. I didn't hear anything back, so I assumed that he either didn't get the letter or didn't care.
It was when I was thirteen that my eyes were opened to the fact of my own sinfulness and my need for a Savior. I had a good friend who told me that I was a sinner and needed Jesus to save me, otherwise I was going to hell. My eyes widened at the thought of going to hell, and I couldn't sleep that night because I knew that I didn't deserve to go to heaven. I started to go to church right away. I listened to Biblical teaching, but it wasn't until I went to camp that summer that I really heard and understood what Jesus did for me. "For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:21, ESV)
Because God loved me so much, He sent His Son, Jesus who was perfect and sinless. He died in my place for my sins on the cross, so that I could become a child of God and have eternal life with Him. Every night, after days filled with horse back riding, swimming, and games, we came together for Bible teaching and worship. Every night, someone would share about how they came to trust in Christ Jesus as their Lord and Savior and follow Him. Every night, I felt terrified at the thought of closing my eyes and praying. I knew that if I did, something terrible would happen to me. The last night of camp, I finally gave up. While everyone sang the song, "It's My Turn Now," by Steven Curtis Chapman, I closed my eyes and prayed. I envisioned Jesus on the cross, when He died for my sins.
My mother eventually married Roberto. He noticed the change in me, and decided that he wanted to adopt me and make me his own daughter. That didn't happen, though, because my father, the one who I'd sent the letter to, found me. He was going through a difficult time in his own life, and he started to feel sorry for not being there for me growing up, so he decided he wanted to find me. My grandparents, who were Christians, helped him find me. After that, I was "grafted" into the Hedges family. It was a beautiful reunion. I met all my aunts and uncles and cousins, and a new brother and sister, too. Everyone lived in town.
On my 17th birthday, my aunts, Dorothy and Jane had a birthday party for me. Since they had missed my first 16 birthdays, they had a special gift for each year of my life. The gift matched the age. They varied from a baby rattler to a shopping gift certificate. By finally meeting my dad and his family, all the pain and emptiness in my heart that I felt growing up didn't heal right away. But, through trusting in Christ and following wherever He leads me, I have experienced true healing, and ultimate fulfillment in my life. Now I am married and have a family of my own, but I still need my heavenly Father who is the best Daddy I could have ever wanted. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1).